yOkI-NoNkI-WaMpAkU

hectic life

diam xdiam dh 3 weeks dh new posting..cant believe dat i manage to conduct 4 deliveries for da last 1 week..although initially was wuite hard but as days goes by the presence of doctors ease the burden...its juz a short posting n due to my INCOMPETENCY then i realize i only grab the precious moment 4 da last 2 weeks..lazy me! huhu..now da real life begin...another 4 weeks of paeds...cmne la nak cope..afta a year..rasenye truma mase last exam in year 4 x abis lg...nephrostomy n PCKD...i will neva forget dat...i learnt my lesson...and growth parameter is essential..mention it!!! or u'll b dead....da last week in sg buloh i met few overc medical studs...n to my suprise one of it is my dear homeroomate, syud...really miss her!she's still da same..nothing much change xcept dat she's more stylish now..well, i think dats wat we gather along the way...a maturity process..during my last day in sg buloh's labour room we were asked to do sum presentation wif overc studs...the 3 of us struggle to do sum presentation n gather bit by bit the missing part in ctg n partograph...but 3 of the overc studs came out to front without any slides but only a book...respek la!dats da difference wif us...without power point we felt like well b shaking n lose control..how i wish 1 day i'll manage to do dat wif full of courageous...i'll definitely make it!aja aja fighting!

huhu..

it's been such a long time since i last update my blog..dunno y..either got tight up wif schedules or i'm making my life miserable..i've been doing so much of thinking lately..i think i want to close diz blog and move to other private blog..huhu..dunno y..but it is still under some critical thinking n grilling! huhu..last week TAOASTMASTER was awesome! if i knew dat diz is much2 fun...i'll b looking 4wd 4 it..but 4 da past 4 years all da programmes were conducted during either my exams or school day..pity me! being there makes me realize the upside down of world..being outside the box..it is there i learnt da true meaning of PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE..no kiddding!4 da 1st time i'm meeting a bunch of people wif brain, courageous and honesty...well dats wat i think of it..u can c da true color there without da need of being hipocrit..egoistic, lier,selfish or snobbish! opps! huhu..no offense..i'm not pointing 2 anybody..afta all dats wat life is all about..
getting thru my mail, a fren sent 2 me a quote from sum1 who dare to speak (hmmmm....<grinning> hehe)

be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.

George Washington
First president of US  (1732 - 1799)

it does make me sit down n thinking...getting thru da meaning of it inside n outside..4 those outside reading my post..i think u shud give a thought of it 2..u'll find wat is F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P is all bout..coz only u can tell..by dat u can make more friends in 5 months by becoming interested in other people than u can in 5 years by trying to get other people interested in u....for me??? sure enuf i've got at least 1 ...or perhaps 15..n everyday i say n pray their name silently..afta all. like wat AISYA SOFEA said..rahsia  di hati x siapa tahu...thank u dear frens!ok..i  need to get sum sleep..zZzZzZzZzZ..

gud one...

i was surfing da net earlier..finding sum stuff for my habibi..i came across diz phrazing..simple but so meaning ful..oh no, i dunno since when i'm addicted to quote..but it seems dat it is da easiest way to xpress wat is inside da heart without hurting da people dat we love..easiest way to xpress how it is aching inside..urgh!cut da crap...bubye!

thanx to alin!

Allah berfirman:

"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan."

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya."

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh."

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu."

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk dititiskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan bilapun ia perlukan."

"Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya.Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, kerana itulah pintu hatinya, tempat dimana cinta itu ada."

Setiap Wanita itu Cantik...

Oleh itu..hargailah..pengorbanan..seorang wanita..ibu anda, kakak, kawan-kawan anda.........

W.O.R.D.S @ P.H.R.A.S.E.S

May your life be like arithmetic-joys added, sorrow subtracted, friends multiplied, love undivided

simple wording but everything is in it..life is like a canvas..it depends on how we painted it..no one would ever say no to joys,to be loved and to have endless friendship..but sorrow will b part of the entity..
Coming back from motivational camp makes me wonder is diz wat i would xpect in my life? am i ready to face it?there is no turning back..like it or not i have to face it..the situation, the surrounding will not change..but u hav to adapt wif it or u have to change the situation..those thing dat can be reverse has to be undo..forgiveness is da ultimate goal..acceptance is a modality of diz journey..but no matter how +ve i wanna takes thing it is not ez..life is neva ez(of corse!!!urghh...)da moment i try to move on..to move along da memory came back..i've learnt how to forgive but not to forget..those words were too harsh and 4 me very da inappropiate...huhu..my lover says to me "leaves may change from green to gold..the sky from blue to grey, people change, places change.." and definitely i knew ur love will not change dear..thank 4 da assurance(wink*wink)..only now i realize in short period of time people change..i dunno y..did i do any wrong? any my words or behavior cross da border?
thanx to da seniors 4 da programme..it is so meaningful to me..it is there i gain the experience, i gain the meaning of friendship and i learnt da true colours of people..but no matter wat it is i am who i am..i am happy wif my life now..little by little i substracted the sorrow...becoz all i know is dat i have an undivided love from mr fairuz ridzman~my ever dear lover,hubby cayunk...my family and endless friendship from those who we can named F.R.I.E.N.D.S..da joy will be added as da journey to achieve DR SITI NUR AISHAH HJ JALIL is fulfilled! until then..all i need to do is to wake up..and to all batch 2004/2009 MBBS220 start ur engine...

..........

azan berkumandang...di luar hujan lebat membasahi bumi..kilat menyabung2..insan lemah tersandar di sisi timbunan buku yang berhabuk..dengan laptop terbuka..segenap ruang kamar kelihatan kemas..mujur ada yang ringan tangan membersihkan bilik yang kacau bilau lewat kelmarin..di luar kedengaran suara gelak ketawa menghiburkan hati..pasti rancangan televisyen yg ditontoni mencuit hati...diselangi deringan telefon..tentunya milik para penghuni yang sedang sibuk dengan urusan seharian-study,memadu kasih dan bertanya khabar dengan keluarga...entah mengapa hatiku sayu..hari ini semuanya indah..bangkit dari tidur yg lena tanpa dihantui mimpi2 ngeri...bersiap menjalankan rutin harian...

melihat anak2 kecil berlarian bertempikan alangkah indah andai bisa ku seriang itu...luaran ku bisa tertawa..aku bisa mengusik dan senyuman palsu tak sukar untuk diukirkan..namun sendirian begini membuat hati yang rawan menjadi sayu...tak pula ingin ku lagukan pada sesiapa..kerana ternyata aku sendiri tidak tahu apa yang perlu ku lagukan...namun nyatanya dewasa ini ketenangan ku bagaikan tergugat...di mana silapnya?? lantas aku culas menjalankan rutinku...aduh...semuanya serba tak kena!!!

............... aku sendiri bingung!

Jatuh Cinta..

Ya ALLAH, jika aku jatuh cinta,
cintakanlah aku pada seseorang
yang melabuhkan cintanya pada-MU
untuk mencintai-MU

Ya ALLAH, jika aku jatuh cinta
izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati
seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-MU

Ya ALLAH, jika aku jatuh cinta
jagalah cintaku padanya
agar tidak melebihi cintaku pada-MU

Ya ALLAH jika aku jatuh cinta
jagalah hatiku padanya
agar tidak berpaling dari-MU

Ya ALLAH sesungguhnya aku bermohon
pada-MU untuk selalu mencintai-MU..

ku temui dia..

"Kasih manusia sering bermusim, sayang manusia tiada abadi. Kasih Tuhan tiada bertepi, sayang Tuhan janjiNya pasti" Itulah sedikit dari bait2 lagu Raihan. Lantaran kasih manusia yg sering bermusim dan sayangnya yg tak kekal lama, kita perlu sentiasa berwaspada terutamanya dlm memilih pasangan. Andainya sikit drpd cinta itu hendak diberi pada seseorang yg boleh digelar suami, pilihlah seorang lelaki yang...

1-Kuat agamanya.
Biar sibuk macamana, solat fardu tetap terpelihara. Utamakanlah pemuda yg kuat pengamalan agamanya. Lihat saja Rasulullah menerima pinangan Saidina Ali buat puterinya Fatimah. Lantaran ketaqwaannya yg tinggi biarpun dia pemuda paling miskin.

2-Baik akhlaknya.
Ketegasannya nyata tapi dia lembut dan bertolak-ansur hakikatnya. Sopan tutur kata gambaran peribadi dan hati yang mulia. Rasa hormatnya pada warga tua ketara.

3-Tegas mempertahankan maruah.
Pernahkah dia menjengah ke tempat2 yang menjatuhkan kredibiliti dan
maruahnya sebagai seorang Islam.

4-Amanah
Jika dia pernah mengabaikan tugas yang diberi dengan sengaja ditambah pula salah guna kuasa, lupakan saja si dia.

5-Tidak boros
Dia bukanlah kedekut tapi tahu membelanjakan wang dengan bijaksana. Setiap nikmat yang ada dikongsi bersama mereka yang berhak.

6-Tidak liar matanya
Perhatikan apakah matanya kerap meliar ke arah perempuan lain yang
lalu-lalang ketika berbicara. Jika ya jawabnya, dia bukanlah calon yang
sesuai buat kamu.

7-Terbatas pergaulan
Sebagai lelaki dia tahu dia tak mudah jadi fitnah orang, tapi dia tak
amalkan cara hidup bebas.

8-Rakan pergaulannya.
Rakan2 pergaulannya adalah mereka yang sepertinya.

9-Bertanggungjawab
Rasa tanggungjawabnya dapat diukur kepada sejauh mana dia memperuntukkan dirinya utk parents dan ahli familynya. Jika parentsnya hidup melarat sedang dia hidup hebat, nyata dia tak bertanggungjawab

10-Tenang wajah
Apa yg tersimpan dalam sanubari kadang2 terpancar pd air muka. Wajahnya tenang, setenang sewaktu dia bercakap dan bertindak.

"Berbahagialah kamu jika diintai calon yang demikian sifatnya..."

LoVe iS..

Love is when you wake up, he is already on your mind...
Love is when you lost your heart, he is all that you can find
Love is when you want to be the one to dry his eyes
Love is when you see the truth in every one of his lies
Love is when you want to listen to all his whims and woes
Love is when you want him to take care everywhere he goes
Love is when he calls you , your heart goes a flutter
Love is when you see him "I love him." you silently stutter
Love is when you tell the world that you love him so
Love is when you've told the world ... but he doesn't know
Love is when you know you'll still love him when he's lost his hair...
Love is when your eyes light up when you see him there ...
Love is also when you hear your heart breaks when he held hands with her
Love is also when you crumbled as you hear them say that it will last forever…
Love is also when you cry inside yet smile outside when they say hi to you
Love is also when you held your breath and said "How do you do?"
Love is also when you let him go ...you know he is happy now
Love is also when you know you'll get over him somehow
Love is also when his happiness is what matters to you
Love is also when you let him love her ... and not love you true
Love is when you'll still love him ... and still ... he'll never know
Love is when you'll swallow the pain and slowly let go...
Yet..love is a funny thing ...
Love is when you smile when you hear that it's him and her no more
Love is when you hear he sent her through the door ...
Love is when you try to "bump" in to him again ...
Love is when he'll say hi to you and there is no more pain
Love is suddenly real love when he says he loves you too ..
Love is suddenly real love when his life revolves around you
Love is suddenly real love when he's always loved you but he didn't dare
Love is suddenly real love when he's always loved you but thought you didn't care ... Love is suddenly real love when now it's all coming true
Love is suddenly real love when you love him and he loves you...
Love is suddenly real love when now your life is nearly complete
Love is suddenly real love when everyday it's him you meet
Love is suddenly real love when you friends accept him too
Love is suddenly real love when you can have time for them and him and you
Love is a many splendored thing ... and a really complex feeling
SO when you love someone ... just tell him ... or her...
You'll never know how it'll turn out ... one way or the other
Tell him before he's gone ... tell her before she's taken..
Confess... confess ... what's there to lose...
When pride and ego's forsaken. You might never know ...
he might love you too. She or He ,
might feel the same way for you ...

Sayang, no matter how well the love is being described by the poetry i know that it will neva reflect the LOVE dat we shared rite now..and INSYAALAH the Almighty will keep diz honoured feeling last forever as we seek His guidance all along...

exam is coming!!!

Malam berlabuh tiba..bersama bintang menerangi alam..entah mengapa hatiku gusar..terlalu banyak bermain di mindaku..kusut rasanya segalanya..oh Tuhanku, ujianMu ini terasa beratnya dibahuku..tp jika di pk2 kan semula rasanya acapkali aku akan sebegini..mengeluh keletihan n kebuntuan..hina sungguh diriku sebagai hambaMu..ujian itu tandaNya aku dibwh pemerhatianMu..ayah berkata inilah lumrahnya hidup seorang pelajar.Jenuh ku hitung entah bila berakhirnya pengajianku..aku jadi alpa pesanan guruku, learning is a life long process...Beratnya kepala..migrain pun senang je nak dtg..Exam is coming in 2 weeks time..2 weeks ke??ari ni dah selasa, rabu depan je exam dh..buku??? bertimbun2 nak kena baca smpi terasa nak termuntah2..maklumlah ilmu penuh di dada.Padahal patah kata Prof Raja, u r brainless..neuron kat otak tu xbersambung..pasal 2 kamu xley berpk.semua nak kena suap..kalo cm2 xpayah le nak jadi top student..ms dengar die bebel senyum jer la sbb pe die ckp mmg fakta bukan auta pun..time 2 bulan posting xreti2 nak blaja, nak p wad..bile nak exam br risau..akibatnya nawaitu belajar dh slh..belajar kerana exam..skrg jiayou habis!!! lepas exam otak kosong la balik..ai...hancur lebur.kalo cmni smpi bila nk maju n pandai..aku tgk je lah buku Bailey & Love surgery berhabuk2 atas meja..steteskop pun xtau mane aku cmpk..sure Petronas anta surat warning pasnih..it is the 2nd last posting..nx year is final year..bole caye ke ni nak dpt prefix 'DR'...??? Hanya waktu menetukan..usaha dulu baru tawakal.Ya Allah ya rabbul izzati berikanlah ketenangan kepada hambaMu ini..kurniakanku kemudahan dlm pembelajaranku, mudahkan aku memahami dan menerima ilmuMu..ilmu duniawi dan ukhrawi..kuatkan daya ingatanku..AMIN!sobsobsob...nangis lagi...

Smlm p umah abg tgk adam..mcm biase la..kalo ngadu je aku tgh tensen ayat die mst standard...ala, ko stiap kali nak exam nangis tapi result nnt ok je..hello! that is so not helping la bro!cepatlah weekend..bley jumpe mummy n daddy ..pulihkan semangat...hehe! Time2 nak exam ni lah bnyk keje..lagi bertambah2 beban nih..rase cam xnak wat je..nak lari jauh2..tp p mane ek?? p mlaka ke...hehe.case write up+seminar+case presentation all diz week..on top of dat, diz weekend punye xhibition xsiap lagi..headache la open day nih...xskenya wat keje last minute..benci,benci,benci!!!! Things tend to jd chaotic n at diz time everybody's akan try nak gune shortcut and ez way out...dateline pun dah dekat nih..AJA,AJA..fighting!!!Allah the Almighty it is to u i pray seeking for ur help..may i get thru it clamly under ur guidance..under ur love...

Deep down inside my heart...i've been longing for the coming holiday..tp b4 holiday kena exam dulu...bole x kalo xnak exam tp nak cuti??? hehe! can't wait to c u my habibi...miss u bebeh!how i badly wish u r ere..thousand miles away..may u r safe and stay in ur best health..Oh Allah the owner of sea and sky,nights and days..i pray only to u...